Stop looking at me like I'm broken

I feel him with me,
Moving, breathing,
In sync.
Thoughts slither in my head,
Coiling around my throat,
Dripping venom in my eyes.
I’m scared.
I can’t make them go away.

Stop.

I feel his eyes on me,
They’re flowing with concern.
So he holds me,
Telling me it’s okay.
He’s here for me,
Forever.
But I need him now.
Don’t let go.

I'm happy.

That's all that matters. That's all you need to know.

Reflections of a Bad Night

(This is from two months ago, I just never posted it cause I'm a weenie!! haha)

I lay here under my covers,
Not wanting to move,
To breathe.
I just want to feel warmth against my skin,
Arms around my torso.
I want to hear it will be okay,
‘Cause right now,
It isn’t.
I want this to end.
This growth of darkness in my chest,
Pulling at my insides,
And twisting them into pain.
I feel dirty,
Disgusting,
But my skin is already raw,
The water’s running cold.
I need to throw up,
But there’s nothing in me.
There’s nothing to me anymore.
I want a shooting star,
A dandelion,
A lucky well,
But all I have is a blanket,
And the sound of my own breath.

From Inside the Rocket Ship

A little green alien sits in his ship,
Orbiting around the Earth.
Rocket ships don't cure lonely,
with their blinking control panels,
and cold, metal rooms.
Maybe someone down there
Could cure his loneliness.
Maybe he would be rejected.
They might hurt him down on Earth,
So he sits in his ship,
Surrounded by nothing.

random strings of thought pulled together to form a tapestry

I almost hit a possum...an opossum? a nasty, giant white rat lookin' creature which is prone to garbage...and disease. you get it. anyways! I don't like 'em, but I don't like killing things either, so I swerved and screamed...like a girl. it was awesome. One of those moments that you're glad you were alone for. On a side note, I think the cough I possessed from a pulled muscle in my chest has grown into an unstoppable force..and I think it's gonna kill me. but I'm not sure. I just know it hurts and 3 doors down still sucks ass and gets on my nerves. oh, and I've written three more poems but Im a chicken and don't want to post them. haha! anyways--this SBC plan for the store meeting isn't going to write itself, so I'm gonna get on that..cause I'm dedicated n shit.

Ass-Hattery

Okay, so I know I'm a good worker and all...but there are other people at the store. I don't know why I have to work eleven hours straight. I'm fucking tiiired. I know this isn't a great complaint cause management goes through...a shit-ton more hours than I do. BUT!! when you stay over for the manager who does 'end of day' early so he can go on time...it gets old. And maybe, just maybe, I want to sleep so I can come back the next day refreshed and ready for the bullshit.
I almost murdered a child today. We had a small rush, so I was bringing out things for Julie and John while they made food. This wormy, white trash little fuck tells me that I 'need to get back to work.' my words to this child? "You think I'm NOT working?" his reply? "I could be back there working!" I saw red. Almost jumped over the counter. Instead of bashing his smart ass head in, I decide to walk away. I already hate kids. Don't tell me what YOU can do, you smug damn 9 year old. I will kill a child!! I will put my foot in your face, damnit!
Omgah, I saw the second manliest thing at sheetz ever. So John is asked (forced) to clock back in to clean the mens room cause the toilet overflowed. wonderful. so he's pissed...So I go back with him to help and to let him leave earlier cause..I'm awesome like that. yeah. anyways. so the door is pushed in past the lock bar...which means it's jammed. So I squeeze through the door/wall and try to push it back out. Doesn't work. John squeezes through and just fuckin kicks the door. Omgah! I was so fuckin impressed. Like, I didn't even think to kick the door. It was Ahmazing. just BAM! door fixed. ...This isn't coming across as awesome and manly as it really was, but it blew my miiind! BAM!! haha.
First manliest thing? I was trying to open a fucking bag-in-box, and because I'm a woman, I couldn't. He just kinda motioned for me to move and punched it. liiiike one punch, the thing's open. fucking awesome. I love when men are all manly. okay, you know those old magazines where they would show a guy who looked like he just chopped wood, all sweaty and rugged and manly? And you look at him like, yes...that is hot and manly. Like these two actions taken by these two guys were equivalent to them chopping wood like a manly man, 'cept these things took me by surprise so I was all omgah!
...anywho...that was my night...

I miss you

I had a dream about you.
You did I what I wished you would do,
And said what I wish you would say.

I was happy.

Then I woke up,
Realized your arms around me
Were really blankets cocooning me.
And your words of adoration,
Were coming from the radio.
So I tried to fall back asleep.
I tried to find you again.
But it didn’t work.
So I laid there,
Just thinking about you
Again.